my favorite self loathing song


Die Mother Fucker Die - Atmosphere 

Atmosphere - If I Was Santa Claus 

If I was a rich man
I’d buy you some shoes
Tall boots for all the dirt you walk through
What would that do?
Enable you to deal
Without schooling you on how to touch what’s real
And if I was a smart man
I’d tell you everything that I knew
And give it to you every time you need a talking to
But what would that do?
Teach you my guidelines
So you can be a cheerleader at your game on the sidelines
And if I was a driver
I’d keep my headlights on
To see the difference between right and wrong
I’d wear my seatbelt even when I’m in park
Cause I don’t trust the other fools that cruise through these parts
And if I was a better cook
I’d hook up a feast
Set a table full of food for the children to eat
I encourage the nourishment so we can breathe
With the knowledge that we got something accomplished

Chorus:
And if I was Santa Claus, I’d fight for the cause
Wouldn’t expect nothing in return
I’d give you everything you want, I’d be everything you need
And you can take my hand and I can take the lead

And if I was an honest man
I would stop writing songs
I’d break for a nervous breakdown for breakfast
Tell everyone I knew to stay away from making music
It ain’t nothing but a confusing mess (confusing mess)
And if I was you, I wouldn’t hear a word I said
Wouldn’t trust nothing to start it up inside my head
I’d make a conscious effort to live instead
Of trying to kill the monsters that reside underneath the bed
And if I was a hurt man
I’d find a way to put my faith 
Into a woman that could take me from today
Maybe I need somebody that could save me
From the parts of myself that keep making me crazy

And if I was a wise man
I’d climb to the top of the mountain peak
To think about strength versus weakness
I’d find a point that rests a couple of feet above your head
And figure out how I could try to help you reach it
(Ho ho ho)
And if I did have a choice
I’d never want to live forever
Just let me have a voice so I can make my points
I can’t imagine running a race with no finish line
Just let me keep my pace and make to most of my time
I love giving but I’m bad at receiving
The truth is, I’d prefer to be the one bleeding
But I’m a paranoid that stays between play and work
Cautious and aware, ‘cause I’m afraid of being hurt
Which brings me to the issue
And that would be this:
How often must I ask myself why I exist?
I feel like a freak, this world is a circus
Just trying to find myself as well as my purpose

Chorus:
And if I was Santa Claus, I’d fight for the cause
Wouldn’t expect nothing in return
I’d give you everything you want, I’d be everything you need
And you can take my hand and I can take the lead (2x)

I got nothing but gifts
Keep it up in my wits
Got me drunk on the fifth
And now we’re stuck in a ditch
And as dumb as it gets
I’mma run you some fibs
I wanna touch your lips
I wanna rub your hips
Put a glove on the fist
For the love that exists
We’ll keep bumping the hits
To get my bucket of chips
From the Bloods and the Crips
To the skateboarding chicks
Put the Atmosphere on your Christmas wishlist (2x)

look at your face, when all i could see was my self lookin back at me
look at your face, when all i could do was think about sleeping next to you 

Summer song- Atmosphere 

She came back to visit, she says
‘Cause in some ways, Minneapolis is more real than L.A.
But I won’t go to the triple-rock on a tuesday
Too many people pop out of they pimples and play
And at night, we can watch these people in these bars
They’re all insane, they all know my name
Who won the game? no one’s in pain
But either way girl, i’m glad you came
And if the elements and irrelevance I strain
Hair’s wet, who cares if it’s sweat or rain
As long as it doesn’t leave a permanent stain
It’s all in vain if there’s nothing left to gain
And somethin’s in the way she looks at her prey
There’s no way she’ll allow you to live
Swallow the fight, inhale the night
There’s not much else left for you to give
Who’s leaving (who’s leaving) ? there she goes
Who’s leaving (who’s leaving) ?
Who’s breathing (who’s breathing)
as opposed to who’s bleeding (who’s bleeding)
Carress the rooftop and stare at the space
For the flesh that you gave just to get a taste
It goes… nothing comes close
Scream with a smile and choke boy choke
Passion come death, and death bring power
At the top of the hour we sing for the monster
And here she goes, with that look in her eyes
The souls of those that got took by surprise
Crooked little smile that clings to her lips
On a night like this I sing for the bitch

(Chorus)
Just a lonely summer
Slowly dying
I was smiling hard
But I was lying

[Verse 2]

So what’s the time? it’s almost time for her to go to work
The sun is shining but I’m the shadow of my smirk
I keep my breathin under my breath
Tucked within the untrimmed bushes next to her front steps
And when she leaves to make treck towards the bus stop
My love erupts (POPS) a thousand tiny blood clots
Damn I wish that she was mine but time and time over the discretion
On my right shoulder whispers to my ear
Advising me to admire from way over here, play the rear
And struggle for the view to clear
It’s been 2 years and quite a few beers
Too many loose tears and a few souveniers
And if she only knew, how long I’ve waited for her
How her smiles enough to make my winter warmer
If she knew the way she walks could take away my storm
She’d probably call the cops and get a restraining order
As much as I hate myself, I hate you more
But I still smile when you come through that door
And as much as I hate my life, I hate yours too
Just can’t seem to teach myself to ignore you
This is for the ladies, not every lady
Just the ones that drive me crazy, the ones that scream SAVE ME
I wanna thank y’all for everything you gave me
Now lean in and taste me (kiss)

(Chorus 2x)

Right up to your face and kiss you!

He knew he wasn’t perfect
But he always did his best to try to get under the surface
Not a saint, not a serpent
He just wanted everyone to be impressed with him as a person
So when she came along with the sunbeam
Self-esteem stopped making nothing out of somethings
Leaving the scene was unseen, I mean
It was the first time he ever felt the need to keep the gun clean
Do the math, he knew he had to choose a path
Got to get that girl, got to make her laugh
Got to shake the past and move forwards
Got to make this last, it feels gorgeous
But she had a lover in the mid-west
Never figured out how to get him off her thick chest
Just like that, everything is gone
He didn’t want to but he had to learn the words so he could sing along

[Chorus]
Everything is all I have to give you
And I’m afraid it ain’t enough
And you’re not so young that you believe me
Just because I say it’s love
And even if they come to steal you tomorrow
I’ll know my smile was yours
Go ahead and chase your dreams and your freedom
Run, run wild wild horses
You can’t tame these horses
You can’t tame these horses, no
You can’t tame these horses
You can’t tame these horses

Sometimes it can be so nice, right?
Sometimes she feel herself turn into the wife type
And when it’s dark, sometimes sees the nightlife
But most of the time she doesn’t even feel lifelike
She got a man but he thinks he’s a star
And it feels like she has to compete with the bar
She keeps up her guard but it seems so hard
Momma never told her she would see those scars
Every night he’s out doing who knows whom
While she cries along like a new show tune
Last call past, is he coming home soon?
Or is he going to run away with the dish and the spoon?
She’ll realize she don’t want that clown
Leave those shoes at the lost and found
He won’t catch on until she’s not around
After somebody else already locked that down
(We sing)

[Chorus]

He didn’t want her to see him leave
And he couldn’t keep sitting there watching her sleep
Cause he knows if he hangs out for a few hours
He’ll dig another hole, trying to plant some new flowers
But the sun don’t shine under the table
He’s trying to hold his life together with staples
No investment cause he’s incapable
And he’s on the outro of being labeled available
The word on the street is his girl’s coming back home
No more alone, no more sad poems
No after-bar calls to the cell phone
It’s time to walk a new path and grow a backbone
Shoved into the big book of just friends
Wondering how he would look as a husband
And everyone of them he ever allowed to love him
Now watching from the crowd trying to be proud of him
(They say)

[Chorus]

See they could try to trick you couldn’t they
Here’s something for ya make you really feel good

little momma got a little pill to swallow
A little water to follow it down the tunnel
Gotta lotta walls but the house is hollow
Got a lot of holes, never found the shovel
Panic attack so what’s the plan of attack
You had to be had, you cut it in half, You had to react
You battle with you shadow from front to back
Stack up the stats, handle the math, And that’ll be that
Hold your head up, I know you’re fed up
But Don’t let it get up to the top of them steps love
Instead of playin with the pieces that got messed up
Get dressed up we goin out to catch the best buzz
Self-medicated spirit on elevated
help take the self-made self hate and celebrate it
and I could tell you hated it when you felt naked
but the poison tastes great
wanna know how the hell they made it
and if the dizzy dont kill you, the city will
simply for the thrill of wiping up a sticky spill
little tricky get busy off a fifty bill
so take that little pill straight to your pretty grill

[chorus]
here it comes there it goes again—panic attack
here it comes there it goes again—panic attack
here it comes there it goes again—panic attack
here it comes there it goes again—panic attack
here it comes there it goes again—panic attack
here it comes there it goes again—panic attack
here it comes there it goes again—panic attack
here it comes there it goes goes goes

(indistinct)
don’t let him go he’ll run away, don’t he’ll need to hide away
don’t let him go he’ll run away, don’t he’ll need to hide away
don’t let him go he’ll run away, don’t he’ll need to hide away
don’t let him go he’ll run away, don’t he’ll need to hide away
don’t let him go

so what you drinkin, so what you poppin
so what you eatin, so what you droppin
so what you smoking, so what you sniffin
so how you copin, so whats the difference
contagious, it runs like the paint does
sedate the sober and over anxious
the pages of pain that make the songs on the playlist
the renegade rain that jumped just to flood the basement
look honey everybody needs a help-up buddy
nobody’s drug free the streets would be hella bloody
do you call yourself a patient or a junkie
the only thing that separates is who takes your money
all smile like we’re gonna go buck wild
order up a shot, prescription filled up now
pop another (what?) distracted the rush
while we fight all night about what to name the love child
I’m on that go nuts life that got that gold touch
Fresh fly wild bold what like the cold crush
No luck, don’t hold much just an old flush
made up of hearts Queen high off the faux-blush
freak outs, leak out and bleed out and speak out and reroute and seek out the weak crowd
and we doubt, but when I see you keep out the beast
I’ll believe for now
it’s all PEACE I gotta be out